“Stay away from negative people. They have a problem, for every solution.”
— Albert Einstein
In your life, you often come in contact with people who have a negative attitude towards life. Whether in your workplace or family you will meet at least one person who spoils your mood and it becomes unbearable to deal with that person. There are some special traits of toxic people.
1)They are naggers. They find unusual happiness in complaining about a lot of nasty things. They engage themselves in continuous grumbling about trifle issues. They need constant attention. They feel by nagging they are attracting attention of everyone but in reality they cause headache to the people around them.
2)They are less adventurous or experimental in doing things. They always follow a stereotypical life. They mostly adhere to a set pattern of life and expect others to follow the same. They cannot withstand any opposition or argument. Then and there they will leave the topic and emotionally blackmail you to follow their ridiculous rules. It is hard for them to go beyond their comfort zones and when somebody tries to venture into a new flied they always discourage them. They cannot deal with fear of failure.
3)Daisaku Ikeda has said, “It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.” Negative people are constantly criticizing others. They often forget to look at their weaknesses before finding out faults in others. They might not be perfect in anything but they criticize others as if they are masters in everything. In reality, they are not even trying what others dare to try. Gossiping and criticizing is their hobby which works like a drug for them because they get immense pleasure after doing that.
4)They are annoyingly overpowering. They will always find ways to interfere in your life. They are constantly watching you. What you wear, what you eat, or what you do in your professional life or personal life. They will always give free and unwanted advice to you. If you don’t pay attention then they will taunt you or pass comments or belittle you. They forget that they have problem in themselves which they have to sort out first. They like to dominate others. They do not realize that they get respect only because of their position at the workplace, age or money, not because of their deeds.
5)They hide information about themselves: Negative people will ask everything about you and your family very tactfully and compel you to tell them about your secrets. But when it comes to them they love to keep their lives under wraps. They always think that if they tell about their assets, failures, or health issues people might harm them in any way or people will use any black magic against them. They do not trust other persons easily. They have very less friends.
6)They always enjoy bad news: They like to share bad news with you and cannot keep any bad news or gossip with them. They become restless unless they share it with someone. They will always share news of divorce, tragic accidents, death, and violence with you. They often like to watch negative things on television such as news on violence or debates. They like to watch stereotype serials related to extramarital affairs or constant conflict amongst family members. They are always eager in knowing about what is going on in other people’s life. Research has proved that watching such negative things on television may result in depression and anxiety and puts a negative impact on a person and changes his attitude towards life.
7)They are not achievers. Negative people always expect others to make them happy. They are never contented. The reason behind this is they lack success in their life. They always blame their circumstances or hardships or people for their failures rather than taking charge of their failures. They project themselves as great and find fault with their colleagues or family members or friends. They held others responsible for their failures.
8)They spoil the positive environment with their negative vibes. Whenever you share any novel idea or new business or any hobby or any good news with them, they will ignore you. Even if they listen to you, they will warn you or tell stories about how other people failed in this business or how you need to be cautious. They will never praise you for your decision. On the contrary, they feel jealous and it is visible in their behavior.
9)They spread their negative energy wherever they are. In their company, your highest excitement of party or festival or any other celebration becomes zero. It is said that negativity can be highly contagious. They are psychic vampire as their need to seek attention is never ending. They drain your energy and make you depressed.
10) They are cynical and pessimistic in their behavior. Whatever you try, you cannot please them. Even if everything around them is going fine they start cribbing about trivial matters. They cannot see the bright side of their life and instead they focus on what they have lost or what they do not have.
How to deal with negative people
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”
– Aristotle
Now here are some solutions on how you can deal with the negative people around you.
1) Spend time with positive people: It is said that you are average of the 5 persons you spend your time with. If you want to excel in life then spend the least possible time with negative people and spend maximum time with positive people. They always crave attention wherever they go. Be it a party or any special occasion they want to seek everybody’s attention. Do not give them what they want because even if you give them attention and do as per their will they will not be satisfied. They will not appreciate your efforts. The very next moment they will start cribbing. Their damaging attitude and calamitous thought process may spoil the whole surrounding. Do not let their toxic behavior affect your goals so avoid their sight whenever possible.
2) Do not try to please negative people: They don’t understand your worth. So there is no point in proving them your goodness. Sudha Murthy has correctly said in her book “wise and otherwise” that you cannot make everyone happy. In pleasing everyone, you end up pleasing no one. Be assertive about your rights and focus on your happiness. Even if you decide to do every possible thing to make such people happy they are not going to appreciate your efforts. Instead, spend time and money on people who value you and who need you.
3) Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is the virtue by which you can overcome any bad situation in your life. You should always feel good that your thinking is not similar to the negative people around you. You are good at heart. Your positive attitude is your strength. Do not allow your positivity to lose by the influence of these pessimists.
4) Set Priorities: Set fixed goals in your life and utilize every minute in a day and work towards your goals. If you want to make a career then you will not waste your time thinking and talking about negative people. There is a very nice story told by Gaur Gopal Das of a young man who goes to his boss and says that he cannot continue working in the office because of the negative environment present there. The boss tells him to take a glass of water filled till the brim and walk in the passage 3 times and if he succeeds in doing so the boss will accept his resignation. The employee went and did what was told to him. When he came back the boss asked him did he notice anyone gossiping, saying negative words, or doing anything wrong while walking along with the glass of water? The employee replied saying no. The boss said because he was focused on a particular thing he didn’t notice anything negative going around him. When we cannot change the people around us we must focus on our goal. If you are aimless in less, you will attract toxic people in your life who will waste your time in gossip. If you have something positive to gain in life you will automatically ignore such people and their words.
5) Keep yourself engaged. William Shakespearehas correctly said, “The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.” If you are idle negative people will take advantage of your spare time and engage you in unnecessary conversation which might put your morale down. It is better to keep yourself busy in various jobs. Do not give them chance to come near you and speak nonsense.
6) Be silent. Sometimes it is of no use to argue with people who have less intelligence. It is better to keep silent and let them speak what they want. Ernest Agyemang Yeboah has said, “When words make noise, silence can talk.” If you react to their words they will provoke you more and compel you to fight which in turn makes you a villain. They are idle so they want any topic for debate. There is no need to defend yourself because whatever you do, they will not take your inputs positively. They are of a rigid mindset. So it is better to avoid conversation by shutting your mouth. Just walk away and show them that you have other essential jobs to do. There are other important persons in your life with whom you can talk and feel better. Shift your focus towards them.
7) Do not take negative people seriously: Negative people around you are always available to say some of the other things about you, give their opinion in all your matters, or give free advice to you even when you don’t ask them. The best way is to forget what they have told you. If you pay attention to them you will give charge of your life to them. You will start doubting yourself. You will forget about your qualities. Instead, you will focus only on the negative things because that’s what they tell you. They only point out mistakes in you rather than highlighting the qualities in you. It can harm your physical and mental health. You may lose your confidence and go into depression. The control of your life should be only in your hands, not others.
8) Always have confidence in yourself: Negative people often find the chance to insult others. Never lose your confidence. Know your worth and have faith in yourself. You are your best judge. Never give them a chance to judge you and find out your faults. Own your decisions whether good or bad.
9) Seek knowledge: Books are the best ways to keep your mind occupied. If you are new to this hobby then you can start reading anything. Books will take you to a different world. There are numerous self-help books on happiness. You can go through biographies of great personalities who have achieved great success in life by dealing with difficult people and situations that came in their way.
10) Shift your focus: Nurture some hobbies like dancing, and singing to shift your focus. If you keep yourself engaged then you will not remember any negative things said to you by others. It is always good to be physically fit at any age. Yoga, running, walking or aerobics prove to be effective in many ways. If you join some gym you will get a social circle to interact with. You can try out gardening. As per research, staying with plants for a longer period can enhance your mood.